I'm Sorry That I Let You Down
"All these voices in my head get loud
I wish I could shut them out
I'm sorry that I let you down
Let you down"
-Let You Down by NF
So tonight is something different. You might notice that a post is missing but even though it was a brutally honest post while I was in the midst of a mood swing...the podcast is coming out and I'm sharing it with friends and family. Now, this doesn't mean I'm censoring myself but sometimes you know what's right and what's wrong. And that was on the verge of something wrong.
This is my little space to vent till my heart is content but this isn't a space of bashing. For me there is a difference. I may vent and shit talk about someone but at the end of the day 90% of the time I love that person. There are a very few amount of people who I don't like, and they won't ever see this. They are no longer part of my life and there is a fucking reason they aren't. They chose to not be apart of my life, they chose to leave, they chose to not understand and not give a damn about me. But my family and friends who are part of my life? I have nothing but love for them.
You have to understand that with me, in real life I'm a very passive person. I'm very nervous to voice my actual feelings in the chance that I hurt someone elses feelings. I care about others a lot to the point where I will put their feelings before my own. This blog, this space, is my sanctuary (In you and I, there's a new land...angels in flight...)*. I promise to always be honest with my feelings, to write when I am having moods swings (those are the best posts tbh) and to never lie. We all have a perception of reality and everyone's is different.
Just remember that on my blog you're only getting one side of the story. There is always another side.
So, I think that's all I have to say for tonight. I do have some news to share but I'm going to wait a bit. It's very neutral news so don't get your hopes up on some juicy gossip. I see my therapist Wednesday for a check up since we uped my meds, then I have therapy session on Saturday. That's going to be interesting to talk about. It's my first time of EMDR and I will share that with you lovely people.
With that I bid you all goodnight. It's almost 10pm and the podcast isn't up yet. Keep checking back here for updates!
Keep Weaving Thru Life
*This is a Kingdom Hearts 2 reference. LOVE THAT GAME